Looking after yourself whilst grieving

Your health and wellbeing still matter

We understand how incredibly difficult it is to lose a child, it's a pain no parent should ever have to endure. The emotions you're feeling are completely normal, no matter how long they last for. Over time, while it may not seem possible now, the intensity of that pain may begin to ease, even if a part of you doesn’t want it to.

It is vital that you remain strong willed for yourself and loved ones during this tragic experience. We have identified some ways in which you can try to take your mind off everyday stress. Not all the options may apply, but hopefully at least one will and that in itself might be enough to get you started on your individual healing journey, just remember you are not alone and we are here to help.

Support The Nirbhau Foundation's Mission

Going for walks

Confine with people you trust

Journal your grief

Believe it or not the fresh air and natural surroundings can help you to clear your mind and think rationally.

Journal your grief

Confine with people you trust

Journal your grief

Writing about your feelings can help as you create a safe place where you can express yourself freely without any judgement. You may even choose to write a letter to your baby.

Confine with people you trust

They say a problem shared is a problem halved. Speaking to someone you are close to and trust can help get your feelings heard.

Allow time to heal

express your emotions and talk to others

Confine with people you trust

Pain and loss isn’t something that goes away overnight. Ensure you allow yourself time to heal and do things in your own time. Set boundaries and ensure other people respect them.

express your emotions and talk to others

Don’t let your grief eat you alive. It is okay to cry, scream and be angry with the world. Remember to talk about your emotions to your partner/a loved one, they will support you through this difficult time.

Honour them

express your emotions and talk to others

Find a way to honour them or start a new tradition that honours their memory. Remember, just because they're no longer here physically, it doesn't mean they didn't once exist.

Preparing yourself

Plant a tree or flowers

Preparing yourself

Prepare for anniversaries, birthdays etc. Share your thoughts and what you would like to do on these days.

Exercise

Plant a tree or flowers

Preparing yourself

When you are ready, try to include some form of exercise into your days as this releases chemicals in the brain such as endorphins which help to relieve discomfort and boost your mood.

Plant a tree or flowers

Donate to charity in their name

Certain flowers or plants can hold special meanings and be a beautiful, long-lasting reminder of the life that grew within.

Donate to charity in their name

Organise a walk, volunteer your time, or donate to your favourite cause. This is a beautiful way for your child’s memory to make a difference in the lives of others too.

religious and spiritual beliefs

Donate to charity in their name

religious and spiritual beliefs

Your religious and spiritual beliefs may be a comfort to you as you grieve. If you aren't religious, now might be a good time to explore this further.

get support

Donate to charity in their name

religious and spiritual beliefs

You can contact bereavement services or self-help groups, for information, advice, and support. You can also speak with a trained counsellor or another parent who have experienced a similar loss.

Help The Nirbhau Foundation make a difference

The Children’s Funeral Fund for England

There is support available for child funeral costs (Children’s Funeral Fund for England), see details below for more information:

The Children’s Funeral Fund for England can help to pay for some of the costs of a funeral for a child under 18 or a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy.
It is not means-tested: what you earn or how much you have in savings will not affect what you get.
The burial or cremation must take place in England.

The Children’s Funeral Fund for England can help pay for the:

Burial fees
Cremation fees, including the cost of a doctor’s certificate
Coffin, shroud or casket (up to a cost of £300)

Claims must be made within 6 months of the funeral. The burial or cremation provider can claim and the money is paid directly to them. Funeral directors can claim for other expenses i.e. the coffin, transport etc.

coop

Children’s funeral services are free, if the funeral is for a baby lost in pregnancy or a child below the age of 18 years old. Free services include:

Bringing them into Coop's care and looking after them until the funeral
Coop's colleagues' time and experience through the arrangement and on the day of the funeral
A choice of coffin
Embalming, if requested
A hearse to take them to the funeral
A limousine for family and friends
Use of our service room

You will not have to pay the cremation or burial fee, although some local authorities might ask you to pay and then claim the cost back. Coop funeral directors will know what you have to do in your local area and will help you further. See information below for contact details:

Website: https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/funeral-services/childrens-funerals

Email: funeral.clientrelations@co-operative.co.uk

Contact number: 08083032076

Dignity Funeral Directors

Dignity Funerals has a long-standing policy of not charging for funerals for people under the age of 18. They cover the cost of a funeral service, including caring for your loved one, a coffin, hearse and funeral director’s fees. In the case of a cremation, Dignity Funerals will also cover the cost of the chapel, provision of music, the cremation service and administration.

The policy of free child funerals includes children of all ages, from babies lost during pregnancy through to children up to the age of 18. Additional costs such as non-standard vehicles, flowers, plaques and memorials, the wake, flowers and orders of ceremony will need to be paid for separately. See information below for contact details:

Website: https://www.dignityfunerals.co.uk/

Contact number: 08082397768

Child Funeral Charity

Child Funeral Charity (CFC) is a result of like-minded people, linked to the funeral industry, talking about their experiences of trying to support families arranging a funeral for a baby or child. The Child Funeral Charity assist families financially in England and Wales who have to arrange a funeral for a baby or child from 12 weeks of gestation to age 17 (up to 18th birthday). Whilst many funeral directors, the clergy and most celebrants do not charge fees, there are other funeral related expenses that bereaved parents struggle to find. Financial support is available from CFC to help with such funeral costs, together with practical advice and guidance. See information below for contact details:

Website: https://www.childfuneralcharity.org.uk/contact

Email: enquiries@childfuneralcharity.org.uk

Contact number: 01480276088

Looking after yourself whilst grieving

Your health and wellbeing still matter

Support The Nirbhau Foundation's Mission

Going for walks

Confine with people you trust

Journal your grief

Journal your grief

Confine with people you trust

Journal your grief

Confine with people you trust

Confine with people you trust

Confine with people you trust

Allow time to heal

express your emotions and talk to others

Confine with people you trust

express your emotions and talk to others

express your emotions and talk to others

express your emotions and talk to others

Honour them

express your emotions and talk to others

express your emotions and talk to others

Preparing yourself

Plant a tree or flowers

Preparing yourself

Exercise

Plant a tree or flowers

Preparing yourself

Plant a tree or flowers

Plant a tree or flowers

Donate to charity in their name

Donate to charity in their name

Donate to charity in their name

Donate to charity in their name

religious and spiritual beliefs

Donate to charity in their name

religious and spiritual beliefs

get support

Donate to charity in their name

religious and spiritual beliefs

“In the garden of memory, in the palace of dreams… that is where you and I shall meet.”

Funeral advice

Help The Nirbhau Foundation make a difference

The Children’s Funeral Fund for England

coop

Dignity Funeral Directors

Child Funeral Charity

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